


Internship

by Cecils-tentacles (Heavydirtys0ul)



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Autistic Carlos (Welcome to Night Vale), Disabled Cecil, He has a degenerative disorder, M/M, Multi, OC is canonically nonbinary, Oc is the main character, but not chronically disabled, or at least not at first
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-01-16 09:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21268466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heavydirtys0ul/pseuds/Cecils-tentacles
Summary: Kai wants to be a journalist, more importantly, one day they want to run Night Vale Community Radio Station, but first they have to survive being an intern.





	1. Kai meets the voice of Night Vale

In the middle of the desert, in a town that should not exist, concrete surrounded by the glistening sands of time and a barrier between our world and the next, is someone; someone who is neither tall nor short, with hair the colour of a field of violets, and eyes both grey and blue. Plain to look at, nothing of specialness, simply a person with a sore spine and a dark blue shirt, the sleeves rolled up tattooed forearms.

This someone is called _Kai_. Kai is twenty three years old and they are about to have an interview. There are no mirrors in this building, all of them had been covered and the one in the bathroom had been physically removed as though smashed to pieces upon viewing; _because_ there are no mirrors and Kai keeps absent-mindedly fixing their hair, they have absolutely no idea how they look currently.

They hope they look good, at the very least, they hope they look _adequate_.

The door to the waiting room opens, and for this they are grateful because this reception area also has another door that’s a little cracked and a little rusty and whatever is on the other side is making a lot of roaring and growling noises, and is clearly _not _very pleased.

“Kai?” A soft and smiling voice calls, deep and a little gravelly and belonging to a man who Kai has never seen but knows, because everyone in Night Vale knows the voice of Cecil Palmer, knows the voice of _their_ city. He doesn’t look how Kai had expected him to look, although he certainly looks like…something and someone. His eyes, all three of them, are a deep violet, his hair a platinum blonde that has clearly been dyed such an..._interesting _colour. There are lines under his eyes that indicate he either smiles a lot or really needs a nap, or perhaps both, and he’s wearing a concerning amount of leather for a man in his late thirties.

But he looks _kind_. And that eases Kai’s anxiousness inexplicably as they stand and hold out a hand to shake. Cecil looks like he doesn’t receive many handshakes as a look of surprise flickers over his face, “Nice to meet you Cecil,”

“Likewise, please follow me and we can talk about your position - but between you and me I’d say you have it in the bag,” He bounces a little as he walks, holding open doors for his younger acquaintance as he talks, leading them down the hallways “For some reason we don’t have an overwhelming amount of applicants, especially someone who has already completed college, usually when we have people applying for internships it’s for college credit,” That they apparently never receive. “In my sincerest defence, I don’t give the college credit, it _is _station management's job to send the necessary paperwork, and as you may have noticed, station management is hardly an amicable group of people,”

Kai _had _noticed, “I don’t need college credit,” They explain “I just really want to get into radio,” Their hands dig into the pockets of their jeans as they walk “I studied journalism in college but…travelling isn’t really my thing, I love Night Vale and I just don’t want to leave,” Many people feel the same, Night Vale is simultaneously hard to enter and hard to exit “So I started listening to the radio and you mentioned you had an internship program so… I applied,” By putting an application on the desk, but apparently you’re supposed to bury it in the ground outside the station where a red ‘x’ is marked and wait for a station employee to dig it up. They had told the receptionist to just pretend they’d dug it up, that it would save them some work. The receptionist had sighed and produced a bag of dirt from under the desk, dumping half of the bag onto the sheet and nodded.

“Well I am certainly always happy to have more helping hands, it’s hard for me to be in two places at once, I’ve only managed it once before and that was mostly due to a split in time and space in which I had a duplicated version of myself running around. Carlos had said that it was due to an inter dimensional rift - between us I have no idea what that meant, but it sounded smart so I just nodded and said ‘hmm, science,’” Kai snorted a little in response, they’d been listening to the radio long enough to know who Carlos was, as had most of Night Vale; ‘Carlos the Scientist’ or, a local celebrity, or Cecil’s husband.

_Cute_.

“That’s a mood,” Cecil looks like he doesn’t know what that means, but agrees anyway.

They reach the end of the long corridor and Cecil pushes open the metal door to wave the other in. The lights flicker on to reveal the white of the walls - in some ways it looks a little like an interrogation chamber but if the radio host knows this then he doesn’t let it show. They both sit down on uncomfortable plastic chairs and Cecil brushes dirt off of the application in his hand. “So your name is Kai?”

“Yes,”

“It’s a good name, as far as names go,” He hums a little, his three eyes running over the words “You’re certainly qualified for the job, I mean to be honest you’re sort of qualified for my job, possibly more than I am,” He laughs, and it’s a deep yet light sound, before he places the piece of paper down “So why here?” Kai blinks a little in response “You studied journalism, and you have what I assume is good English skills, why do you want to be an intern here? Wouldn’t print or…” he looks suspiciously around the room as if he’s being watched _“…Online blogging...” _He whispers scandalously “…Be more appropriate than just running around documenting stories for me…?”

Kai shakes their head a little “I like radio, sometimes when I read and write the words sort of…well I don’t understand them, I understand that they’re words I just can’t understand for a few seconds what they mean,” They scratch the inside of their wrists a little bit before shrugging “I like listening to stories and I like talking about stories so…radio seemed like the best fit for my personal skill set,” There’s a small silence as Cecil considers this before he nods and his face breaks out into a warm smile.

“Okay then! You’re hired,”

“Just like that?”

“Oh yea, we’re ridiculously understaffed and you seem qualified so…” He waves a hand in a gesture of…something, Kai understands the gist but they have absolutely no idea precisely what Cecil is trying to convey. They take it at face value and assumes it means ‘Yay! You got the job!’ and smiles, thanking the radio DJ with a low exhale of relaxation. “I’ll show you around the studio if you like, and you can get a badge! That’s the best part,” For a full grown man, Kai cannot help but be reminded of a small puppy when Cecil bounces around as he currently is, his smile wide and clearly entirely within his element.

It must be nice to know where and when you belong in the world.

Cecil leads Kai out of the room and towards an elevator “I won’t show you around everywhere because it will quite literally take years, the only floor you need is the ground floor and the top floor, do _not _stop off at any of the other floors,” His face goes serious for a moment, a quick change of an expression that somehow makes him look like an _entirely _different person. “Chances are that you won’t come back to this timeline,” He pushes the elevator button and the doors swing open as though waiting for them. They both enter and the one with the purple hair notes quietly that the inside of the metal casing looks as though it’s deteriorating slowly, indicating there must be damp somewhere. No wonder the interns don’t tend to last long: if the job doesn’t kill them, the elevator might get there first.

The elevator isn’t rickety, it doesn’t jolt or squeak as Kai had expected, in fact it almost feels like they’re not moving at all. But then the doors suddenly open with a ding that sounds less like an elevator and more like toast popping out of a toaster, revealing a bright and purple room. “So this is my office, or at least _our _office,” They both step forward. It’s a rectangular and extremely large room; there’s a door marked ‘toilet’ on the left side, with a door next to it that says ‘Toilet, but its only urinals’, and Kai snorts lightly. Directly across the elevator are large blacked out windows with a heavy door “That’s the recording booth,” Cecil points “That’s a desk, that’s another desk,” He points at the desks “That’s another desk and that’s…you get the gist,” Kai nods in agreement, they do get the gist. “You can just pick one and it’s yours,” The blond walks forward, heels clicking against the polished floor as he does so. He walks over to a desk and picks up the intern badge that was on one of the desks “And this is for you,”

“Is that…blood?” Kai remarks cautiously, taking the badge and pinning it to their clothes anyway “What happened to the poor bastard that last had this badge,” Cecil grimaces a little. He doesn’t remember.

“Something awful, I assume,” He finally says and then looks away, clearing his throat awkwardly before gesturing around. “Well make yourself at home, and remember - don’t go to any other floors except the ground floor and this floor. I have to start the show now,”

And for the first time Kai feels a little uneasy as they watch Cecil walk away, a hollow feeling in their veins as they recall that expression on the radio host’s face. He hadn’t _remembered_. A lot of people die in this job and Cecil had simply lost track without even realising - and now Kai is wearing a dead man’s badge. Or dead woman’s, or dead somebody-who-knew-better-than-to-conform-to-the-rigid-understanding-of-human-gender’s…badge. That one was a mouthful. Either way, Kai already knew the mortality rates of this program, now is not the time to panic over that and they’re not. They’re not panicking about their own possible death.

They’re panicking about the prospect that no one will remember _why._


	2. The Forest Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Kai starts to settle into the radio station, they quickly start to realise a lot about their boss. In the mean time, there appears to be a slight issue with the Whispering Forest, namely that the forest isn't staying in the forest.

_"Good evening listeners,"_ Cecil's voice pours smoothly through every speaker that is tuned in, every pair of headphones, every half-broken car radio. _"As many of you may have noticed, or may not have noticed if you have spent the majority of the day in bed or with your eyes shut, a renegade group of trees have migrated into our city streets. Now usually this wouldn't be such an issue if the trees were not from the Whispering Forest and very keen on recruiting new members for their... well, their forest. The usual safety precautions stand; do not accept a compliment from the Whispering Forest occupants, put on a pair of headphones or simply scream very loudly to drown out their voices,"_ Through the window, Kai snorts lightly, their headphones over their head as they listen to the show through the tinny speakers that had once worked so very well. _"More on this story as it develops," _

The intern sighs a little and hops down off of the desk they were sat on to pick up the stack of paperwork that had been left for them when they'd arrived. There had, of course, been much more at some point; over the course of the day they'd been steadily working through some of it, and slowly realising some of it they are very much sure weren't in their job description. But Cecil hates paperwork and it's Kai's job to make sure he does _his_ job well enough that they don't _both_ piss off the multidimensional being that they call a boss: _Station Management_. Kai had been in the studio before Cecil had because Cecil has the easiest job, but Kai is the one that has to give him the stories and a rough idea of what needs to be covered on the show, at least most of the time anyway - sometimes Cecil seems to just... _know_. 

The first time the violet haired person had noticed this phenomenon had been during their second day there. The young intern had been holding a piece of paper, ready to give it to Cecil, with a news story that needed to be covered. It had _just_ come through. And then with no way of knowing the man simply opened his mouth and covered the story before he'd been told what it was. Kai had dropped the piece of paper with a look of shock as they had wondered what exactly had just happened. Cecil had looked through the window and grinned at them, holding his thumbs up in glee and thanks even though Kai had done... _nothing_. 

Cecil is, categorically speaking, a little bit _weird_. Some days he's a little grumpy and some days he's so over caffeinated that Kai is sure he's about two seconds away from meeting his maker; and sometimes he says or do things that most people would not say or do. Then, there's the third eye and whatever that does or however it exists. That's not to say the misty eyed person dislikes Cecil by any stretch, weird in Night Vale is uncommon but weird is also Night Vale, it's everything the city is built from, the impossible and strange are interwoven in the threads of the road and the construction of the houses, it's the foundation of _everything_ they are. 

So _no_, Kai does not dislike Cecil because he's weird or inexplicable, they would even say he fascinates them. Even by the standards of their day to day life Cecil is obscure and strange and...different. And he's _kind_, if not a little oblivious sometimes. He speaks either very slowly or very quickly and his mind always seems to be in several places at once, he writes with both his left and right hand and then pretends he absolutely does _not_ own a pen. His outfit choices are strange but not quite as strange as the fact his husband has a lab coat for every occasion, which raises a lot of questions that Kai is certainly _not_ going to ask. 

But, presently, all that matters is that Kai does their work and makes sure that Cecil does his. The easiest and quickest way to do that is to essentially do most things for Cecil that can be achieved without the radio host; paperwork, files, organising things, field work, editing his Jaws slash fan fiction ("Seriously?" Kai had huffed lightly, but they were laughing too because there's never a bad time to read slash fan fiction). Everything that didn't require being on air is now their job, because Cecil is clumsy and a little forgetful and not very good at managing multiple things at once. 

At a small break for a pre recorded advertisement, Cecil gestures for Kai to enter the recording booth "I need you to go and investigate the tree situation - I can't get a clear read on those things, they give me a headache," He brings a hand just above the third eye and rubs as though trying to alleviate a headache. "Take a coat, it's going to be raining later," And then he's sliding back into the recording booth, door falling shut in Kai's face in a way that isn't unnerving but still a little annoying. Most people do _not_ enjoy having a door shut in their face. With a sigh, the intern grabs their black coat and loosens their tie a little, pinning their ID badge to their coat instead, in case they run into any members of the Sheriff's Secret Police. For some reason Cecil's existence seems to sweeten the pot a little, so to speak, when it comes to bending and breaking the rules or putting your nose in places it isn't usually accepted to be in; so working for the radio station so far has meant that Kai has gotten in places they usually would not be, although they also probably wouldn't want to be in those places if it weren't for the radio either. 

Ah, vicious cycles. 

They place their headphones over their head and pocket their phone, listening to Cecil's report even though they're not required too; it's just an effect the radio host has, like you have to listen when he's speaking. _If_ Kai had gone into science they would hypothesise that the man is in fact not entirely Human; there is evidence to support this, such as the third eye, the ability to make people shut up just by opening his mouth and a strange power of being able to summon the weather just by saying the word _'weather'_. Kai also wonders, as they walk down the stairs, if _maybe_ they're overthinking a little. They sigh to themselves and shake their head, running a hand through the dark purple hair that catches the wind the moment they step out onto the street. _'Right, trees, lets find some trees,' _

Not the sentence they were expecting to be going with today but it'll do, they suppose. Kai turns the volume up on their phone so that Cecil's voice drowns out the noise and finds his rhythmic voice soothing their nerves as they start their journey through the city, on a search for whispering trees. In their head they tell themselves repeatedly to keep calm, to follow the rules for these situations and, above all, to prove to their mother that they're capable of _not_ dying in a job that statistically everyone seems to be dying in (_"Kai why couldn't you have just worked for Amazon or something low risk?"_ She had insisted, Kai had blinked incredulously in response as though offered a plate of bitter irony without the time to properly digest it). 

They walk up to five square miles from the entrance to City Hall, and come around from their thoughts in time to see a small child transform into a very small tree, at the hands of a larger tree...or the _branches_ of a larger tree at least. _'Interesting,'_ Kai informs themselves _'So they do actually grow, and in relative to Human sizes too, does that imply that all these trees were once...**people?'**_ They walk uptown the tree, hands pressed firmly over their headphones "I don't suppose I could ask you a few questions?" They shout, the tree visibly flinches like it has been hit by a particularly forceful gust of wind, and Kai realises that they cannot hear their own voice or the tree's for that matter. "Sorry!" They shout again, before taking a deep breath and sliding the headphones off of their head "Please don't compliment me, I really hate compliments," 

The tree stays silent. 

"How are you migrating like this? Apparition or...are your roots like legs?" They can't see any disturbances in the concrete. "And how come you can speak, but...almost telepathically? If you are telepathic then you must have some sort of a brain - how does that work when you're a tree?" The trees shift in the breeze, looking uncomfortable with the interrogation. "And how come you're converting people and why compliments? That's a strange way to convert people into trees," 

"I'm surprised anyone is still asking questions like that," A small chuckle interrupts their interrogation. "Hi by the way. I'm one of Carlos' scientists," The person, who is at least twice Kai's height and ridiculously lanky, has dark hair and dark skin and a kind smile "Michael, but most people just call me Mike," He pushes his glasses up his nose and offers his hand to be shook, Kai takes it carefully before shaking it with a small smile "And judging by the badge you would be one of Cecil's interns, _oof_, how _is_ that going for you?" 

"Interrogating a tree," Kai turns to wave a hand at the tree "It's going... _terribly_ actually," They run a stressed hand through their mussed purple hair and sighs so gutturally that Michael can practically see the disappointment in their heaving shoulders as though it were a flashing neon sign that says "HEY I CAN'T INTERROGATE A TREE!" and also "I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED INTERROGATE A TREE! HOW DO YOU INTERROGATE A TREE? WHAT IS THE PROCEDURE?"

"Have you tried complimenting it?" Michael asks, pushing his dark hair from his eyes and squinting at the tree under the setting sunlight "Hey, uh, excuse me?" The tree does the tree equivalent of 'sitting up a little straighter' "You have very nice...uh...bark?" The tree visibly bristles a little "And lovely leaves for this time of year, how did you manage to get them so lush and green?" The tree seems to consider this for a moment before they do, finally, speak. 

"Why thank you kind sir, at least you didn't shout so rudely at me. I grow these leaves myself you know, and may I say that you're..." Michael clasps his hands over his ears and makes a noise that could have been a squeak or a shout - or technically speaking, a mix of the two. It was a very strange noise and nobody present wished to hear/make that noise ever again; a monstrosity really. Michael squints at the tree with a firm glare, and the tree seems to huff but no-one is really sure how they managed to do that. 

"I think that's enough asking to the tree," Kai advises, prising their hands off of their ears "I should report back to Cecil, if he hasn't miraculously figured out everything I want to report to him beforehand," 

"And I should report back to Carlos," The two look at each other before laughing shortly: there is something amusing about each of their bosses being married to each other. Kai hasn't had the pleasure of meeting Carlos in person yet but Cecil talks about him so much that they practically know the size shoe the scientist wears. "It was lovely to meet you..." He pauses, realising he hadn't asked them for their name. 

"Kai," 

"Nice to meet you Kai, I'll probably run into you again so, until next time," Kai waves after the scientist with a light grin on their lips; it'd been a while since they had interacted with another person and the conversation had felt healthy, rejuvenating. They hope they run into Michael again, and they're sure they will. It'd be nice to make some friends again, they'd been so busy with their studies for so long that they'd sort of forgotten how to do that.

In the meantime, however, it was time to get back to Cecil with the report.


	3. The Forest Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the trees begin to populate Night Vale, Kai teams up with Micheal to figure out what they want; a difficult feat when you can't converse with the thing that is invading your city.

_"Update on the tree invasion, if that is truly what it can be called, the trees have been turning predominantly children into... well into trees, which seems like a strange motive but not entirely the strangest,"_ Cecil looks over the paper in his hand _"Please don't let your children wander around on the streets alone, this should go without saying people, but if you really do need to let your children roam free even if technically they are regarded as an invasive species and can interrupt local wildlife systems, please send them out with strict instructions to wear noise cancelling headphones and not converse with the trees,"_ He places the piece of paper down on the desk _"More on this story after this pre-recorded announcement,"_ He presses a button and leans back in his chair, gesturing through the window for Kai to open the heavy door and slide inside. "Any further investigation?" He asks the intern who sighs a little heavily as they consider the large pile of paperwork that they've been trying to get done whilst investigating this phenomenon. 

"As it turns out there are no experts on sudden tree appearances, or case files on the existence of trees that recruit members of their species by complimenting them, thus turning them also into a tree," Kai glances out of the window to study the city below "So far we've had six reports of people's children being turned into trees, no reports of adults, so if I had to hazard a guess this has something to do with the children," Cecil nods in agreement "Why would someone want to kidnap children is the next question, I mean this is Night Vale people don't just go around kidnapping children, so I had to look into the world around us and apparently it's extremely common in places like uh..." They opened their phone to their notes app and began scrolling "New York, Much...Mic...Mic-a-gen, uh...other states basically," They close the app and shake their head, gesturing a little loosely to indicate that there was a large quantity of states that had child disappearances "But _none_ of them have cases of trees doing the kidnapping," Cecil hums in acknowledgment as he bites his lip in concentration. "Common motives for kidnapping vary but I think the one that makes the most sense for trees is that they can't have their own children and I mean it's not as though they have an adoption service for trees," 

The radio host's eyebrows raise before he clicks his fingers in a _'eureka'_ fashion "I'll text Carlos, he should know how to test that theory, I don't know how trees have children I'm sure it's not the same way we do, which is obviously by praying to the brownstone spire until one day a child appears in your front room," Kai blinks and then sighs heavily, nodding their head in agreement when in reality they...really do _not_ agree with that sentiment. Wishing for a child is good and all, but the chances of missing out on all their developmental years is truly heartbreaking, no it's best to _grow_ your children in a lab. 

"What should I do in the meantime?" 

"See if you can converse with the trees any further, I..." His text tone goes off and he picks up his phone "Carlos said that there's a scientist trying to do the same, maybe you should team up for safety reasons or...you know, so you don't get bored talking to trees," Kai makes a noise between a muffled laugh and a verbal eye roll before they nod, "Try not to get killed!" Cecil calls after them as they exit the room, and quietly Kai wonders if Cecil had always said that to his interns or whether he is really starting to notice the fact that most of them are dead. 

\--

"Hey stranger," Kai jumps four feet in the air at the deep and cheerful voice, then relax as they recognise it "Carlos told me to find you, he said there's strength in numbers, I said that makes sense but usually that isn't against trees that compliment you to turn you into a tree - he sighed like I'd offered him a very hard puzzle and then walked away," Micheal grins a little too much, but not in an annoying way just in a _'how are you managing to be so happy right now?_' sort of way. Kai finds it somewhat endearing and shrugs it off, grinning back as they push their headphones to hang around their neck. "I have to admit this is super intriguing, I never get quite used to Night Vale,"

"I don't think I could get used to anything else," Kai responds "I never really realised it was weird until interlopers started arriving and their reactions to this city...your reactions even, were the first indication that our normal is your _weird_," They shrug and then offer Michael some of their coffee in a cute yet stylish travel mug, which he accepts gratefully. 

"The sun takes a long time to set here," he mutters, taking a sip and then staring up at the purple and red sky "Time is...it's like a scribbled line in Night Vale, it still goes forward but never consistently or at the pace it's supposed to: a sunset shouldn't take two and a half hours or_ three_, or sometimes it takes only the click of a finger and it's _dark_, this place is...it is weird to me but _addictively_ so," He sips the coffee and then hands it back, Kai smiles a half-smile of content at his words "I love Night Vale because it's so fucking weird," He shrugs "And I'm glad Carlos roped me into this because I just couldn't imagine being anywhere else," Kai doesn't know how to respond so they just nod in agreement before turning to look down the street at a tree that has occupied half of the width of the pavement at the bottom of the road. 

"Let's go interrogate a tree?" The intern offers with a grin, Michael nods in agreement, both _far_ too excited to risk their lives in the names of journalism and science.

The two of them stand at the tree curiously "Hello?" Kai offers "It's us again, we'd like to ask you a few questions, please don't compliment us we're not a threat to you we just want to understand," The two of them exchange looks as the silent tree sways lightly in the breeze, in no rush to communicate and almost appearing a little nervous "Please, we really just want to help you, to _understand_ why you're here," More silence and an awkward one at that, as the two people exchange glances with each other. 

"We want children," The tree finally explained "We cannot have children," Kai and Michael exchange a look between each other before looking back to the tree, an awkward silence overhanging as Kai's suspicion is confirmed so outright; some part of them wants to celebrate wonderful journalistic work but the other half is just... _sad_. "The soil will not fertilise new life, we cannot have children," Michael swallows dryly before bringing out a notebook and pen, scribbling something down before he grabs his phone out of his pocket and begins to type something in. 

"I'm sorry," the radio intern fills the hollow silence with a genuine look of melancholia, glancing over at Michael as he brings his phone to his ear "Michael is a scientist, he probably knows how to fix that... right Michael?" Michael gives Kai a look that says _'don't hold your hopes up'_ before the phone stops ringing and a smooth, oaky voice rings through the speaker. 

"Hi, Carlos, it's me, Michael, the trees can't fertilise the soil, for some reason they're not reproducing that's _why_ they're after the children," the scientist's hand flails around even though his boss can't see his gestures, he doesn't quite seem capable of explaining things without flapping his hands around. Must be a scientist thing. "Do we have anyone in the lab that's good with horticulture or agriculture or even botany or basic biology?" There's a static silence and they all hear Carlos shouting to the other scientists, there's an echoed and distant 'yes' before Carlos' voice returns. 

"We have one," Kai can hear the excitable grin in the man's voice making him sound like a kid on Christmas "Never did I think a plant degree would be beneficial to us but today is Antonio's lucky day, he's on his way," Michael punches the air in joy, practically dancing on the spot as he hangs up the phone. 

"We're going to help you," He informs the tree "We're going to find out what's wrong with the soil and then we're going to fix it, you don't have to keep turning the children into trees anymore," The tree sways a little in excitement, expressing that if they could they would be jumping up and down in joy. "Just try not to thank us or compliment us, please, I'd like to remain Human," Michael turns back to Kai and offers a high five. "Look at us, partners in crime! You should go and report to Cecil that we're fixing the problem... here..." He opens his contact menus and hands over his phone "... Add your number and I'll text you when things have been sorted and the science has been done, we'll keep you posted so you don't have to keep wandering out in the cold for your journalistic scoop,"

The way he smiles when Kai enters their number is too sweet and too content to have just been about that, but Kai shrugs it off and accepts that whatever can happen or could happen or will happen, is okay with them. They hand the phone back with way too much of a blush on their cheeks over the brown skinned scientist and his excitable grin, and then offer a wave. "I'll see you round then," 

"See you around Kai," 

\--

_"Finally, a conclusion to the story,"_ Cecil's voice fills Kai's headphones as they fill out paperwork and sip on their coffee at their desk. _"With some help from our intern, Kai, and a scientist by the name of Michael, Night Vale's scientists, including my own husband, Carlos, have managed to fix the problem with the soil and all of the trees have returned to the forest. If I were you I would still stay out of the whispering forest but I would expect to see some cute little seedlings in the coming months! I extend a congratulations to the new tree parents and their expected baby trees,"_ Kai smiles a little at the warm conclusion and exhales a little. Their phone vibrates next to them and they glance at the screen to see that they have a text. They smile a little too themself, but don't reply just yet. They need to really finish this paperwork in the next hour or they'll be pulling an all nighter. 

The sun has finally set in the sky, the stars shimmering over Night Vale, as Cecil's voice speaks softly to every listening ear _"Good night, Night Vale, good night,"_


	4. Blank State

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People in the town are almost catatonic, whilst something goes wrong that no one notices.

Kai sips their coffee as they lean against the side of the elevator that barely shakes as it moves; absently considering that this ridiculously still elevator is _intensely_ more intimidating than one that shakes and rattles. How _are_ you supposed to know if you’re moving? What if it breaks and you simply don’t know until you’re running out of air?

Does this thing even have _vents?_

The doors open, they decide that’s a worry for another day and instead wander out onto the floor, placing their coffee on the desk next to the new pile of paperwork. Cecil hasn’t started the the show yet because he's opting to smoke a cigarette out of the window instead, he places his finger over his lips and then points downwards, either indicating Hell or Station Management (_if_ there’s a difference) cannot know he’s currently smoking inside the station. “Did you disassemble the fire alarm?” Kai asks, staring up at the ceiling at what had been the smoke detector “If there’s a fire we’re _fucked,_”

“Such vulgar language,” Cecil chuckles, smoke pouring from his lips as he stares out the window; you can see the entire city from up here and when Kai follows his line of vision they can tell he’s staring right out at Carlos’ lab. Kai hasn’t _met _Carlos yet but sometimes they forget that as they’ve been so used to listening to Cecil talk about his husband. Whenever he gets the chance he’s off like a rocket, desperate for the entire world to know about his super smart scientist husband, and how _wonderful_ he is. It's sickening and _adorable_ simultaneously. 

He truly does sound wonderful too, and Kai can’t quite help the happiness that comes from someone else being in love, they themself had _obviously _not experienced such a feeling so they tend to live vicariously through other people. And that’s okay, that is simply, right now, where they’re happy being in their life; there is no rush or imminent desire to love or be loved in such a way but if such a person were to come along then they'd roll with it. They aren’t Cecil and they are still young with an _entire_ life to live before they consider caring about not being in love.

“Come on Cecil, show starts in five,” They pluck the cigarette out of their bosses hand and shoes him away lightly, sighing as they try to figure out what to do with a lit cigarette “Is your husband as much of your impulse control as I have to be?” They tease lightly, deciding to throw it out of the window, before getting Cecil a glass of water and the list of news points for the day. “Because now I have to fix the smoke detector,”

“Not at all,” The radio show host chuckles, adjusting his waistcoat as he sits down in his chair. They like that they and Cecil can have a laugh, previous interns…the ones still _alive_, had said that Cecil was somewhat rude and impassive. Now Kai thinks that maybe they hadn’t tried to talk to him like a person in response, as nervousness about having a boss generally dictates. Cecil can talk for hours if you give him something he enjoys talking about.

Like Carlos, or Jaws, or the phases of the moon, or the local horoscopes. Or leather pants, he owns well over sixty pairs of the damn things; Kai winces just _looking _at them.

“Good luck, you know where to find me if you need me, or you can just text me you don’t have to keep halting the show, I gave you my number for this reason,” Cecil nods, but he’s only ever truly half-listening in the few minutes before the show, reading over the information he’s been given and setting up his work station ready to be broadcasted. Kai smiles a little to themselves as they sit down at their desk, sipping their coffee and sliding their headphones on before stretching, readying themselves for the stack of papers on their desk that are glaring up at them ever so slightly.

Kai doesn’t know _why_ pens are illegal in Night Vale, or why the radio station has an abundance of them; perhaps all the pens in Night Vale were gifted by the City Council to Station Management as some sort of weird display of affection. Perhaps they should not ask questions that they don’t really want the answer to in the first place. With that thought, they pick up their pen and begin to write across the forms.

\--

It’s a little quiet throughout the morning as not much has occurred overnight, in fact it's a little _boring_ right up until Cecil calls for a commercial break and then waves his hands frantically to get his intern’s attention. Kai scrambles to get away from the paperwork as fast as they can, excited to have something a little more dangerous to investigate. “There’s some news,” Cecil mutters “Everyone is just suddenly in a complete state of frenzy, well not everyone, a select group of people; Carlos is trying to investigate what is common about these people but it’s as though they’re zombies,”

“Zombies?” Kai asks, trying to clarify that they heard that right, Cecil nods “Right, okay, I’ll do some investigation,” they mutter whilst trying to compute that there were zombies in Night Vale, although looking at this town’s history they start to realise that maybe they _shouldn’t_ be so surprised. It also explains why it had been quiet this morning; no one in Night Vale gets up before midday on a Tuesday by _law_.

As they grab their third cup of coffee in their travel mug, they head to the elevator and run over the facts in their head. So, A) No one is effected inside their homes B) There is a select group of people effected C) If this were a virus it would be airborne, so it’s effecting a certain type of internal organs D) All those affected are turning into zombie-like figures, possibly mildly catatonic but violent when approached. Kai is working on that last point when the elevator finally stops and they head past the receptionist (“Would you like a pen? Please take the pens, I don’t want the pens, there’s _so many _pens,” The harrowed receptionist pleads, looking positively terrified of the piles of pens around him), then out the door.

The first thing they notice is that there are in fact people who look like that they c_ould_ characterise as zombies, but they also feel like they shouldn’t assume just because someone _looks_ like a zombie that they _are _one; that would be rude. But there are people staring aimlessly at nothing, walking slowly and with an exhausted look on their face, as though living had simply gotten too hard for them. Kai can _certainly _relate to that, momentarily they even wonder if this is an easier life before remembering that they get bored filling out paperwork and would find this state even _more _boring. Noting down their observations, they then decide to bite the bullet and approach one of the zombie-like humans.

“Hello?” They call out to a nearby resident, one that they think is called Jamie Duncan but they’re not so good with faces or names when people are essentially background characters in an already hectic life. The person, who may or may not be Jamie Duncan, does not respond or at least not in the way people usually respond to conversation. He makes a small grunt and walks straight past them as though they are not there at all. “Weird,” Kai utters, and then writes this down next to ‘Vague responses to contact, does not seem violent, more like asleep and awake at the same time,’ They consider this for a moment before they stare down the road, bringing their phone out of their pocket they type a text to the only scientist that they personally know, Michael, and the text reads _‘Found anything out about the zombie people? They’re nonviolent, I think it must be affecting certain types of people but not gender or sex or age, maybe blood type or genome, but I’m not a scientist so these are just wild guesses,’_

There’s a long pause, followed by the text tone ringing, and a text that read in reply: _‘Come to the lab, we’ll show you what you’ve got, Carlos was going to call Cecil but seeing as you’re already out and about,’_ Which could loosely translate to, if either of them were even remotely aware of human emotion instead of fascinated by things that rarely can be explained, _‘I wanted an excuse to see you, because you're interesting and I like you,' _But then Michael would not be Michael and Kai would not be Kai.

\--

There are two things Kai is nervous about; the first is that they’re finally about to meet _perfect_ Carlos and his _perfect_ hair and _perfect_ teeth like a military cemetery, the second, and this is less about the situation and more a horror story that Cecil told them that his mum told him, is _mirrors_. Never before have they been afraid of mirrors but now they seem awfully capable of death and murder. What are mirrors really? Well, they certainly know what they’re not and that is _trustworthy_.

The first and more imminent cause of nervousness stands on the other side of a door that they’re hesitating to knock, and also there’s a lot of noise coming from the other side of the door so it’s unlikely they’ll even hear the knock. Kai takes a moment and then a deeper breath, before reaching up and knocking hard against the wooden door, standing back to wait for an answer. It takes a silence and a moment before the door opens and on the other side is a man that has to be Carlos.

Jesus _Christ _he is perfect, how is that _legal?_

Not that Kai is about to start finding a man in his forties attractive, but if they did then Carlos would certainly be first on their list. His skin, dark and a little dirty with something that looks a little like mud, with a beard and head full of thick hair that just seems to do whatever it feels like doing but…perfectly, _effortlessly_. His eyes, dark brown, and there is a small smile on his lips as he waves a little “You must be Kai!” His voice, oaky and sweet “I’ve heard so much about you! At home and at work, I’m Carlos, the Scientist, come on in,” Kai nods, suddenly finding themselves incapable of speaking like a normal person and _not _someone who is meeting their boss’ husband for the first time.

“Hey Kai!” At least six of the present scientists say at once, like a really awful computer game where the speech just sort of happens and no one can quite discern why. One of the scientists is Michael, who waves a little more enthusiastically due to the fact he actually _knows_ Kai and enjoys their company no matter how little of that they’d actually shared. He waves them over to his work station which has pieces of paper strewn around, a small machine and what looked like a couple of headshots of the people who were currently not-quite-awake.

“So here’s what we’ve got so far,” He pushes the papers around to some semblance of an order “A couple of scientists braved the librarians to get this information, they’re currently in the sick bay whilst we try and get some weird sort of fluid off their skin, all we know is it burns...but anyway _here’s_ the information we have,” He pushes what looks like some medical files towards Kai “The zombies which is _apparently a _scientifically accurate term for the people affected, are all the same blood type; O negative, but they also have a really high platelet count according to these medical files,” There’s a lot of information under each name on the papers, some things that _really _do stretch outside of usual medical notes on patients, or at least to Michael. “It looks like whatever is controlling this is doing so via their blood cells,” He leans against the desk “Which is super awkward because so far there doesn’t seem like there’s an actual reason why and there is no way to discern intention from this evidence alone, nor is there any way to fight against something that is necessary for Human survival,”

Kai considered this, they turn the evidence over in their mind several times as they stare at the pieces of papers in front of them with severe concentration, sighing with frustration as all the words bounce around their head “Do you have like…a chalkboard?” They ask, Michael hesitates, looking over at Carlos, who nods. Carlos gestures for the two of them to follow him into his private lab, where there are several…_hundred..._beakers all stored precariously on shelves with labels and notes beside them.

“We have to hide the chalkboard from the secret police,” Carlos explains, before pulling away an entire section of the wall like a sliding door “It’s certainly a headache to keep breaking the law in order to save the town, which should, I suppose, _be_ the law’s job, but hey! What are scientists for if not saving the world?” He smiles like he’s happy, but very tired too. Then, perfect Carlos and his perfect hair sit on the edge of the desk as Kai picks up a piece of chalk.

There’s a moment’s pause where everyone seemed to hold their breath, before Kai brings the chalk to the chalkboard and starts to write.

_"Fact #A: There is something affecting people in the town, but only when they go outside, this suggests whatever it is has to be inhaled or ingested in large quantities directly from a specific source, because they’re not affected, as far as we can tell, by open windows or doors._

_Fact #B: Though mildly catatonic, they can walk around but barely acknowledge or respond to stimulus, this suggests that whatever is causing this was not intending to use these people as a weapon, which narrows down the type of person we’re looking or._

_Fact #C: All these people have the same blood type and high amounts of platelets. This suggests that whatever it is effects the blood cells directly, a sort of control via blood?"_

They stare at the board for a moment and then write: _“Hypothesis: It isn’t something in the air at all, but something directly ingested that gets into the blood cells,”_ They place the chalk down and then exhale slowly, shaking a little.

“I don’t suppose you’d consider an internship in science?” Carlos asks after a moment “Those were some _excellent_ scientific powers of deduction,” Kai gives a short, nervous laugh, dusting chalk off of their hands and leaning back to stare at their own writing. “I suppose we should start with the who and then move on to the why, I’ll call Cecil and let him know you’re going to be a while because I might be needing you do a little investigative journalism for me,”

“All my worst fears coming true,” Kai mutters under their breath, Michael makes a small noise that sounded like a poorly stifled laugh. “In all serious, I’m honoured but I have to ask…what actually _is_ your last name because everyone just says ‘Carlos The Scientist’ and that can’t be legally your last name?”

“Of course not,” Carlos laughed “No that’s my middle name,” His phone goes off in his hand and he sighs “I have to take this, you two go and find out if new restaurants have opened up and get back to me, try not to get injured because health insurance is through the roof and legally I have to cover it,” He laughs, but Kai gets the feeling he isn’t entirely joking and they don’t honestly know what to do with that information. There again, they don’t really know what to do most of the time with any information, all information can be _too_ much information can’t it?

But, Michael seems more than happy to have some company as he pockets his phone and offers a bright smile before holding open the door in a way that is a little gentlemanly if you read into it; Kai is _not _reading into it. They thank him and pass by the other scientists, giving a small wave before making their way out onto the street. “So, how do we find out if there’s a new café or restaurant opening up?” The scientist asks a little too brightly. Kai snorts, puts their headphones on and holds up their phone, clicking on the community radio station app to tune in.

“Cecil,” They replied shortly, as they begin to walk down the street together.

\--

Cecil does in fact give them the information that they need. A new breakfast place had opened up in the barista district, and here’s the kicker…it isn’t _ran _by baristas. Michael inhales sharply at the revelation, even he knows this would invoke some fairly hard feelings amongst baristas, someone is encroaching on their territory and that _cannot _have blown over well. “Are you O negative?” Kai asks, glancing through the window at what looks like a normal restaurant with normal people, the workers are extraordinarily _plain _even; it’s weird seeing people behind the counter that don’t have trimmed beards and wide framed glasses.

Kai shivers, possibly in horror, or _some _form of dread.

“I’m not,” They reply after a moment “I’m A negative,” Michael nods. “Are we actually going to eat their food or something?”

“Well we can’t just walk in there and demand their recipe can we?” Michael raises his eyebrows, Kai sighs in disdain. “The things we do for science is hard, but we do them anyway, because no one else will,” There’s a long silence before the intern waves a hand as if to say _‘I guess’_, pulling the door open to traipse in with some regret before they’ve even got through onto the premises. There’s this feeling they’ve never felt before, it creeps up their spine and makes them feel cold, but they do not know what it is.

“Hey there! Welcome to Rejuvenate, what’s your blood type?” Michael recoils but Kai manages to keep their game face on. For Night Vale, this isn’t that weird, honestly being asked your blood type isn’t strange at all, they could after all be secret police spies wanting to know if you know your blood type; which _is _also illegal but Kai has always been good at going unnoticed, and even better at picking a lock.

Kai leans close and clears their throat, faking looking around suspiciously “Are you a spy?” They whisper, eyes wide and testing, as if seeing straight through the person in front of them. It’s the ‘barista’s’ turn to look unnerved as they shake their head convincingly.

“No, not at all! No it’s simply that each of our menus cater to specific blood types, it’s beneficial for your body!” They insist nervously, Kai stares for a moment, eyes squinting before they nod, leaning back in a long and hard look of judgement, before they break into a smile.

“O Negative,” They lie like it’s the easiest thing they’ve ever done “So is he,” Michael offers a nervous wave but it’s not the barista he’s nervous of, he’s used to being in mildly unnerving situations for the sake of his job. Once Carlos accidentally blew the entire door off of his lab and wandered out in flames and a sheepish look, so Michael is no stranger to danger. He realises in that moment however, he doesn’t know Kai as well as he keeps convincing himself. The way they switched so quickly is simultaneously incredibly pride-inducing, awe-inspiring and _terrifying_.

The ‘barista’ smiles and sets about making an order they hadn’t even ordered, shrugging between the two of them as they sidle along the counter to pay for and receive their food. It takes around five minutes in which everyone is awkwardly smiling silently, looking between each other to settle the sense of unease that everyone present seems to be experiencing. “Oh shoot,” Kai mutters, looking at a watch that doesn’t work that they have no idea _why_ they own. “Could we get those to go? We’re late for a very important meeting,”

“Of course!” The ‘barista’ smiles, too sweetly and too widely and too…just too much smile in general. They put the food in a too-go bag, it’s warm but Kai isn’t exactly sure what it is, then they’re each handed cups of what smells like coffee. Both Kai and Michael thank the not-barista profusely before heading out of the door, trying not to give the game away as if somehow their walk is suspicious. It isn’t and they make it outside safely, although Kai’s hand is shaking a little and they exhale heavily the moment they’re both out of sight and earshot of the strange café.

“That was incredibly…nerve wracking,” Kai admits, a small smile on their face that says that they enjoyed it just a little (or just a _lot_), they truly would be bored in a normal job that didn’t require walking purposefully into danger. “Let’s get these back to Carlos, and then I need to get back to the radio station, you can text me the results right?” The smile doesn’t fade, and Michael can’t help but smile back, he doesn’t think he’d usually enjoy it but the second hand adrenaline is making him think he _should _be enjoying danger.

“Of course,” The scientist agrees, before the two of them walk back to the lab, ignoring how nice the food (whatever it is) smells, and the rumbling of their own stomachs. This food is scientific evidence, they can find something edible in this entire town without succumbing to eating evidence. No matter how tempting it is.

\--

Carlos thanks Kai and Michael for their work, for some reason his praise feels like Kai has been offered something wonderful, but they suppose Cecil isn’t really the praising type. A pat on the back person maybe, but genuine out-of-this-world excitement is not exactly how one would personify the radio host. Carlos, however, physically jumps up and down on the balls of his feet like a kid at Christmas and thanks Kai at _least _six times.

Then Kai manages to get back to the radio station, avoiding the zombies-that-are-not-zombies, and very hungry. By the time they get back all the adrenaline has worn off and they are suddenly extremely drained. Cecil does not notice, three eyes and the man is not very good with observational powers in the s_lightest_.

Instead, they sit down at the desk and pour themself a cup of coffee, scribbling notes across the paperwork that had been left for them. They do this repeatedly, slowly making their way through the work , wincing as they realised that their inability to read is progressively worsening the more tired that they get. Sighing a little, they throw the pen down and rub their eyes with a weighted feeling on their shoulders. The intern remembers they haven’t eaten today and attributes this to the sudden hollow feeling; but do they have time to eat or even get food?

They drink more of their coffee and try to ignore the sudden vacancy with a sigh. They must have been staring at the papers for a few minutes as they’re startled by the sudden ring of their text tone, with a sigh and shake of their head they open up their phone and don’t notice that they smile when they see Michael’s name on the ID for the text. Kai opens the text and reads it before laughing quietly to themself.

_'Unsure what chemicals are in this, it’s nothing even Carlos has seen before, but whatever it is it’s definitely scientifically interesting, we’re breaking down the contents to try and build an antidote,'_

Kai shakes their head as they stand up, their hands are shaking but there’s nothing they can do about that right now, that’s what they tell themselves, they’re _busy_, this is more important. They stand outside the recording booth and wave a little, Cecil notices and nods, pressing some buttons for the weather before waving them in. “They’ve still not figured out what it is, but they’re breaking down the contents to build an antidote, but are unsure how long it will take,”

“Thank you Kai,” Cecil leans back in his chair and winces a little, he looks a little pale today. Kai wants to ask if he’s okay, but they aren’t even honestly sure they’re okay as their head spins a little. “Are you alright?” The intern nods, bringing their hand to their head “You’re shaking,” Cecil stands up a little slower than usual but Kai is honestly unable to notice as they screw their eyes shut hoping that will help. Cecil’s hands rest carefully on their arms as if unsure he should be touching them but they’re overcome with relief when he does so as if they hadn’t noticed how much they needed comfort.

“It’s stupid, I forgot to eat,” They sigh, Cecil tuts like a father would with their child, moving away to rummage through his bag slowly, pulling out a small paper bag full of what looks like candy, like a shop store bag full of sweets. He really does have a ridiculously sweet tooth.

“That _is _stupid,” Cecil agrees “Your body is far too frail for you to be running around on an empty stomach,” He unwraps one of the sweets and hands it to them, shaking his head “In future take better care of yourself, you can’t do wonderful journalistic work if you can barely stand up,” He smiles, but it’s worried and a little pained; Kai can’t decipher if he’s in pain or if all the people who have died in this line of work are finally catching up on him, either way the look fades almost immediately. He is like a book that simply stopped working and can never be read, Kai knows that maybe that’s for the _best_.

Cecil returns to his work, Kai returns to theirs, carrying a bag of sweets against their chest shakily as they flop down at their desk. They hadn’t quite expected to love the work so much they would forget basic self-care but sometimes life throws you a curveball that you have no choice but to learn from. They consider this, crunching on sweets as they find their body absorbing the sugar like it’s a scarce resource.

Around an hour later, Kai gets a text from Michael saying they have an antidote but no way to find out whether it will work without immediately administering it so they’re going to have to try it straight on those affected. Tired, Kai smiles and tells him _'good luck!'_ Half an hour after that, they get another text explaining rather excitedly that the antidote works perfectly and people are starting to come around to their normal selves. Kai forwards this text to Cecil, rests their head on the desk and breathes a sigh of relief that they hadn’t known they had needed to let out.

They rest a little, waiting for Cecil to dismiss them, too tired to keep trying to push the limits of their dyslexia and hunger. Cecil does not, or at least pretends to not, notice that that they haven’t finished the work and simply says good night. Kai knows they’re a little out of it as they grab their things to head home, so out of it in fact, that they don’t notice the fact that Cecil is wincing every time he rests his weight on his right leg.

The two of them are in no state for anything but to go home.

An hour later, or at least what could be perceived as an hour, Kai gets a text from Michael asking if Kai has seen Cecil, and they_ finally_ wake up a little more.


	5. Lost Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quest to find Cecil is underway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i finished nano, wrote 50,000 words, told myself "yeah I'll get back to editing in a week" then I did not do that.

The sunrise was noisy that morning, not that anyone had slept enough for it to wake them. It's as though the town itself, as any living thing does, knows that Cecil is missing. The sun breaks the worried whispers as the sky turns orange instead of pitch black, it rattles the town and it rattles a barely-awake Kai even more so, tugging their jacket over their skinny frame in the early hours of the morning. People had looked for Cecil all evening, but no one could find him anywhere.

Not even the _baristas_.

And now Kai is faced with a dilemma because, in case of an emergency _they_ are the backup, they’re only a few weeks into their internship and barely have any idea of how to host a radio show. There isn’t a choice in this, no one else is offering to do it and technically this is their job and really it should not be so hard just to speak into a microphone, _why _is it so hard to speak into a microphone?

Kai stares up at the radio tower, blue-grey eyes wide as they realise for once the looming too-tall and clunky tower does not look comforting, it looks imposing and casts shadows strangely. They don’t feel the buzz of excitement they have been feeling the past few weeks, no eagerness, no cup of coffee ready to sit down and work. They just feel anxious and tired…and _worrie_d, worried for their boss, worried for _Cecil_. Worried for everyone around Cecil who is panicking and tense.

It’s a new feeling for many reasons. Kai had been their own lighthouse in an otherwise stormy sea for their entire life, they had been responsible for all decisions that they had made for themself. Cecil had integrated into a part of their daily life that is unavoidable, assumed himself as their mentor and become a firm instructor on their career. He is the first person in their life to do so, and right now he is missing, a part of Kai’s comfortable routine for the past few weeks is missing and now they have absolutely no idea what they’re doing bar pushing a few buttons. The second is that people go missing in Night Vale much more often than is possibly normal; Kai had never worried too much about it, that was just life to them, but now they are worried. Now they know how it feels to the friend of someone who has disappeared mysteriously and now they are almost_ ashamed_ of their own apathy.

But one issue must come first and that is that right now this town needs a voice, Carlos needs a voice, Cecil, wherever he is, needs a voice. All the people that admire that strange man needs someone to tell them things are going to be okay and it doesn’t look like anyone else is up for the job, Kai doesn’t blame them, Cecil’s shoes are hard to fill and not just because he has absurdly large feet.

So they straighten their sore spine, clench their jaw defiantly in the face of their anxiety, and step over the threshold into the radio station.

\--

Carlos is trying not to have a breakdown. He’s usually so very good at managing his own emotions, too good at managing his own emotions, but right now he is quietly and passively _beside_ himself. If he were a chemical there’d be a label that said “fragile,” and also “toxic” on the side of his beaker, he is not a chemical but people are edging around him like he has those labels on him anyway. “Science,” he mutters to himself “It’s not failed me before, but without any evidence how do I form any sort of hypothesis, I have nothing to go on!” Beside him, Nilanjana is glancing at the ground, then the sky, and then back at Carlos, unsure if he’s talking to himself or her.

Michael is stood in the middle of the road, looking left and right with a concentrated look on his face. People don’t just disappear, he tells himself, but he isn’t as confident in this as he might have been before he came to Night Vale, before Carlos and Cecil, before the strange and fascinating science of this place…before _Kai_. Then, he realizes that maybe if the sacrifice is the past three years of his life, he’d take this nightmare of a town over anything and everyone and any other life. This place is as home as he makes it, so he shelves the fear for another day.

Even if people keep shouting _“Interloper!”_ at him every now and then. Over the past few years the shouts have lessened and become less “Go away” and more “Hi Michael” and that, at least, is comforting.

He digs his hands in his pockets and stares at the ground, more particularly at the cracks in the road; if this was anywhere else cracks this size would be considered a safety hazard and would most definitely need to be filled, he places his foot into one that looks like a small crater just to test this idea. Yes, these are really rather huge, they must have taken years of wearing away. Although, this is Night Vale so honestly, they could have occurred overnight there’s really no way to tell.

Michael looks over his shoulder towards Carlos, who is muttering under his breath as Nilanjana shuffles awkwardly on the spot beside her-their-boss. He wishes he knew how to soothe the elder man but usually it’s Carlos half-assedly soothing them from some sort of momentary science-induced panic; they cannot pretend to understand what he’s going through or appease them with assurances that everything will be okay. None of them knows this for sure and it would be unscientific to lie.

So instead, Michael walks back to the sidewalk and holds out a hand, he doesn’t touch Carlos because he knows it would stress him out more, but he hovers a little, enough for the elder to look up and take a deep breath. How someone can look calm and hysteric at the same time is beyond the young scientist but Carlos nails the look completely. “Let’s go and find him, or at least try, it’s all we can do,” Carlos nods, Michael holds out his phone and headphones. “We’ll start at the radio station, that’s where he was last seen,”

Carlos slides the headphones on, and tunes into the Night Vale Community Radio Station.

\--

“…And that was the community calendar,” Kai hopes that they can channel Cecil well, he’s not someone that can be replicated but for now, they’re filling in a small blank where he should have reasonably been. “Some further news on the disappearance of Cecil Gershwin Palmer, we’ve had several sources call in to give in sightings of Cecil over the past twenty-four hours, he was last seen by a barista, who said their name is literally “The Barista” on their way back to their cave, he was driving alone but stopped suddenly, he got out of his car and appeared to be in pain, when The Barista attempted to approach him he shook his head and told them to go home, they turned to go home but felt uneasy and waited on the corner of the street in the shadows, after a moment someone approached him and Cecil left with that mysterious figure, it is currently unclear the location of Cecil or his car which The Barista said he left behind,” Kai leans back from the microphone to exhale shakily, their mouth feels so dry and they have no idea how Cecil manages to talk for so long without his throat just drying up on him.

“Another caller has confirmed they did see Cecil last night, they said at first they did not recognise him because he looked so ill,” Kai feels a little cold even though the radio station is so warm today. “But it was definitely him, in the company of someone who could have been a man or a woman, or neither or both, they were wearing all black and had their hood up,” Kai tries not to feel uneasy about all of this, what was Cecil playing at exactly? It sounded on all accounts as if he went willingly with this person, which means he’s possibly quite fine but in need of some Ibuprofen. “Cecil if you’re listening, please call in, or call someone, anyone,” They exhale shakily “I take you now to this pre-recorded sponsorship,” They flick the switches they’d seen Cecil flick, and press a button before leaning back in the chair, mulling over what they had learned.

“Hello,” A disembodied voice startles Kai.

“Shit,” Kai responds, startling out of their chair as they swivel around to come face to…something with the source of the voice “Can you like knock or something before one of your out of nowhere appearances? This isn’t a home, why are you here?”

The Faceless Old Woman that secretly lives in everyone’s home looks as though she might be pouting if she had a face, sighing without a mouth. “Well if you’re going to be like that I suppose you don’t want to know where Cecil is,” Kai sits up a little straighter at this, hands unclasping as a warning red light comes on to show the sponsorship was about to end. Kai looks over at the woman, then flicks the switches back over.

“And we’re joined now, unexpectedly and without schedule as usual, by The Faceless Old Woman that secretly lives in your home, you said you had news on the whereabouts of Cecil?” They don’t know why their heart seems to hammer in their chest a little, almost with excitement. They hadn’t known Cecil long, but they get the feeling they’ve gotten quite attached to their mentor, they would also love to not be on the radio for at least a few more weeks and with the _appropriate_ training. “Do you think you could tell us what you know? And also why you’re telling us, you tend to be quite cryptic on what you do and don’t know,”

“No offence, or perhaps offence,” The Faceless Old Woman starts “But I enjoy listening to the radio whilst people go to work, I may be faceless but I still have hobbies,” She then shrugs, it looks like a shrug at least “_Anyway_ I like Cecil’s voice, it’s a routine and not hearing him on the radio is simply disorientating,” Her gestures are a little hazy, but she waves a hand dismissively “The house next door to the house that does and does not exist, he’s in there, but he isn’t alone, nor quite himself,” Kai nods, tapping on their phone to send a text to Michael to check he’s listening to the radio. “Try not to get killed,” And just like that, she disappears.

The cold feeling returns as those words sink in. What _exactly_ has Cecil got himself into?

\--

Carlos slides the headphones off with a shaky inhale, then exhale. “We probably shouldn’t go in there alone,” He says gently “But the Sheriff’s Secret Police are as predictably useless as always and…well, I don’t really think we get a choice do we?” He hands Michael his phone back “You have a text from Kai by the way, how is that going?”

“How is what going?” Michael asks, genuinely oblivious.

“I suppose that answers the question,” Carlos replies, half smiling, half brimming with so many negative emotions. So much of this doesn’t quite make sense and he isn’t sure what to do with or about that. Michael is still confused about the question but he figures there are more important things to worry about than Carlos being cryptic, and responds to Kai’s text with a concise yet descriptive explanation of what he and Carlos were going to do, which was mostly walking into the house next to the house that does not exist, which has been empty for a little under a year now and hope for the best.

Hope is not scientific; or it is scientific but in a way that equations and beakers cannot quantify. Science could not exist without hope, but the hope is not so dependent on science for its reality. Michael decides he wants to think about that some other time when he’s not finding himself buried under a million different types of worry and stress, and some confusion too. He’s always slightly confused about something; confusion _is_ scientific, confusion is the most scientific state to exist in after solid, liquid or gas.

They begin to walk the dry roads towards the house that does, but doesn’t exist. The young scientist finds himself almost incapable of enjoying its presence, and beside him, Nilanjana does not look all too thrilled to be anywhere near that house again either. They all find it scientifically interesting but the thing about science is that it can also come up with new results that you simultaneously want and don’t want, this house is one of those results. It should not exist, it’s terrifying but so interesting. Looking up at it, it seems unimpressive, but then something passes by the window that looks like its limbs are too long and they all shiver just a little. Then they bypass the house that does not exist to the vacant property next to it.

“Should we knock?” Nilanjana asks, staring at the door curiously “Or do we just…sneak in through the window?” Michael is not exactly skinny, and at this, he scrunches up his nose and glances at the window that he most definitely would not be able to squeeze through. Nilanjana is also not looking too pleased at her own suggestion and when she sees Carlos contemplating, she decides for him by knocking on the door. “Sorry,” She winces a little, as the three of them stand there.

It takes a long moment before the door creaks open, there is no one on the other side and it is very dark inside this house, with the feeling of being watched hanging ominously over their shoulders whilst they wander further into the darkened corridor. There is silence. Silence but laboured breathing and a sense of panic, the sound of footsteps on the floor below and a single light at the top of otherwise pitch-black stairs. That is not how light should work normally, to just exist in a spot and then be swallowed by darkness, but scientific curiosities can wait, for now, they have more pressing matters to follow.

“Cecil?” Carlos’ voice whispers in the darkness, knowing if he wants his husband to hear him he will _have_ to raise his voice yet he panics, worries of whatever is in the darkness of this house that does not let in sunlight with them. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, stepping forward on the creaking floorboards with a shiver running up his spine. He can see nothing in front of him, like he has been blinded but then he also wouldn’t know what being blinded feels like because he’s never been blind.

Michael has a bad feeling about this, usually he doesn’t get so nervous about running headfirst into danger because being a scientist and especially being a scientist with a man who rather sheepishly and randomly accidentally sets things on fire as your boss, calls for danger in your life. It’s a fact of his existence that he’s known since he chose this profession, _especially_ after choosing to do an internship under Carlos’ guidance in a town that should not exist by all laws of the universe. But right now he is _scared_. The hairs on the back of his arms are stood straight, a shiver caressing his spine, mouth dry, eyes wide but unseeing in the darkness as they walk forward and journey deeper into a maze of troubles.

He glances to the side of him and finds nothing, ahead, nothing, his hand reaches out and meets a cold wall; stone, not like the interior of a house should be at all. He isn’t sure who he’s more worried for really, himself and the feeling of his own heart beating thunderously in his chest, or Cecil, who has been here almost 20 hours by hypothesis, going off the evidence. But then begs the question if this house is a house and yet not a house, what is The Faceless Old Woman doing here? Was it a mistake on her part, what did she see in here that was enough for her to appear in the radio station with some semblance of worry, or at least what she feels physically capable of expressing?

Michael steps forward, hoping to find a light switch, instead he decides to just follow the light “Let’s follow the light,” He mutters quietly, Carlos utters an agreement, even if it’s a silly agreement because none of them knows if this is a trap or what waits in the darkness, all that they know is that they truly could do with some light. But it’s like this place just swallows all the light up. The three progress up what feels like stairs gingerly, stepping carefully and a little clumsily, fumbling their way forward. When they reach the top, Michael inspects the light with fascination, and after a moment he realises “The lights _are_ on,” he whispers, half horrified, half ecstatic, before stepping away a little nervously. “That’s the light that should light up this whole corridor and yet…”

“This place eats the light,” Another voice interjects “That is simply the effect that I have, incidental but, wonderful for me,” It is a dark voice, dark like this house and cold, almost robotic. There is no life in this voice; it is as dead as everything around it. “You should not be here, you should leave,” the voice utters in a demanding tone, and Carlos squints through the darkness, pushing forward just a little.

“I’m not going anywhere without my husband,” He sounds scared, terrified, yet even as he shakes Michael knows what he’s saying is the truth and the voice seems to know too, for it chuckles. “I know he’s here, what…what he’s doing here I don’t know but I would very much like him back…please,” Another laugh, just as cold but for a moment it truly does sound gleeful, or something similar to an emotion. Michael doesn’t like that, he prefers the sound to be cold because whoever owns it does not sound like the sort of person who should be happy at the moment.

“Well, I’m certainly not keeping him from you,” The voice replies in the darkness, the darkness shifts and what sounds like a hand knocks on wood to the left of them “He’s in this room, although he might not be so partial to visitors currently,” There’s a shifting noise like feet against the carpet and for a second Michael feels cold all over like someone had just walked through him, his stomach lurches in response but he hasn’t eaten enough to be physically sick. “I’ve done what I came to do, and it’s not as much his time as he was expecting, most people just go to a hospital,” Then there’s the sound of footsteps descending down the steps, they all feel alone even with each other there.

Carlos has more questions than when he’d entered this place, but he feels along the walls. For a moment there is only darkness and fumbling, then the lights all flicker on at their full power, causing everyone present to hiss at the brightness. The sunlight streams in through the windows. Michael looks out of the window in curiosity, watching a black mass walk away; it had a vaguely humanoid figure but darkness surrounds in in a haze, shrouding it. He gets the feeling he has seen this before, once, and that he will see this figure again, _once_.

A slight groaning noise directs Michael’s attention, and finds Carlos on his knees beside a singular old and uncomfortable-looking bed, lying on it is Cecil. The radio host looks tired and in pain, pale and drawn but otherwise unharmed. There’s a long gash at the side of his neck that Carlos wants to fret over, but his attention is brought by a gentle kiss from his husband. “How long was I gone?” Cecil asked, lips cracked and throat dry, his eyes a little red as he blinks up at his husband.

“I don’t know,” Carlos responds because time is weird in Night Vale.

“I hypothesise around twenty to twenty-two hours,” Michael adds, because the radio show has become his measurement of time lately, and he is now holding his phone in his hand with that open. “Long enough,” He concludes, pocketing the phone with a strange desire to call Kai. He doesn’t know why the urge arises, but it hits suddenly and with the force of an overwhelming avalanche.

“Cool,” Cecil’s reply does not sound cool, actually he _is_ shivering but otherwise he doesn’t really look the slang definition of the word “cool”. He looks like he needs to sleep for about two weeks. “Could you help me up?” The eldest scientist helps up his husband, who leans against him with a slight sway, as they help him down the stairs, Michael notes Cecil is limping slightly but decides Carlos will do all the questioning that is needed and he simply does not need all the answers but to know that they are all safe.

\--

“Finally, a conclusion to our story,” Kai leans against their hand, eyes falling shut as the setting sun bathes the recording room in purple and red, the on-air light the brightest thing in the room. “Cecil is safe and at home with Carlos, he was found in the house next to the house that does not exist as the Faceless Old Woman dictated, with a mysterious figure who has remained unidentified, we may never know who that was or what they wanted, but as they exited Night Vale all the lights seemed to flicker on and off, for a moment when they stood at the edge of the town, ready to journey into the desert, then they were gone,” Kai leans up to finish the show, “We may never know if they will return, but at least we know that Cecil is safe, and with that happy ending to a day of panic I would say good night, Night Vale, sleep well,”


	6. House, Appeared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A house appears out of nowhere, and Kai has to investigate it.

“Don’t go in the house,” Cecil said firmly to Kai, shaking his head “Or do, if you want I can’t stop you, but so far everyone that’s gone into the house has not come out of the house,” He pauses “Although you would be a terrible journalist if you didn’t go and thoroughly report what is going on with the house that appeared out of nowhere,” there’s an amused look in his eyes “But also don’t go in the house, it’s dangerous,”

And that is how Kai found themself stood outside of a house that has mysteriously appeared overnight in the centre of Night Vale. They, and everybody else, have no idea what is in the house because everyone who has entered has not managed to come back out again. So this is a house that certainly probably eats people alive and Kai is stood there with their phone and a look of sheer determination as they prepare to enter the house. 

This morning, when they’d walked into work, Cecil had almost immediately frantically waved them over and said “A house has appeared in the middle of Night Vale with absolutely no explanation,” he’d looked part excited and part like this was a normal Thursday afternoon, which is apparently a look that only Cecil can achieve. They’d had a pen forcibly placed in their hands, and then Cecil had told Kai to not, but do, look in the house.

They’re pulled out of their daze by a hand on their shoulder that startles them ever so slightly. Kai sways on the spot and turns around to look at the owner of the hand whilst half hiding their pen under their jacket in case it was the Sheriff’s Secret Police, even though for some reason being an intern at the Night Vale Community Radio Station means that no one ever really stops you for having a pen and also there is an absolutely terrifying abundance of pens at the station.

It is, however, not a member of the Sheriff’s Secret Police, and is in fact Michael, who has a quirked eyebrow and a look that apologises for startling his friend. “Sorry!” He speaks but it comes out a little louder than expected and sounds more like a shout, which he then apologises for that too, quieter this time. “I didn’t mean to startle you,” Kai smiles a little, nodding as their heart rate sort of returns to normal, for some reason it still seems to beat a little fast even after all the fear is removed. “Are you also investigating the suddenly appearing house?”

“Yep, Cecil told me not to go in it, but then he told me to go in it, and then said not to go in it again…he didn’t seem to make up his mind so now I really do want to go in it,” Their eyes go to the suddenly appearing house again, from the outside it looks almost normal; same brickwork and door and windows as most houses in Night Vale, except it didn’t seem to have any blood on the door which is quite strange given that most occupied houses at the time of rapidly approaching ‘Bloodstone Circle Day’ have a little bit of blood on the door frames. Although this could be overlooked as it is a mysteriously-appearing-out-of-thin-air house. “Curiosity killed the small barn owl!”

“That’s not…that’s not how that goes,” Michael shakes his head but decides not to press the inherent weirdness of being raised in Night Vale “You probably shouldn’t go in there but to be honest Carlos essentially said the same thing, I pointed out that if I die I won’t have any scientific results and he replied with ‘yes, but if you live you could certainly have many of them’, I couldn’t entirely fault his logic so here I am,” He also notes that Carlos has stopped trying to pair him off with other people, although most of the scientists have their own projects to be working on, Michael has always been the ‘field guy’ so to speak; Carlos would send him off to collect preliminary data on events that occur or are occurring in Night Vale, and then eventually someone else would join him. Recently it’s almost like Carlos is trying to tell him something that neither of them are very good at conveying or understanding because he keeps sending Michael out to do essentially whatever research he wants with no guidance.

“So we should go into the house, right?” Kai asks.

“Absolutely not,” Michael responds, before taking a semi-unconscious step towards the house. “But scientifically speaking…”

“And journalistically speaking...” Kai adds, with a wave of their hand in a way that suggests they have more to say but they don’t quite know what it is, so their hand just falls limp by their side for a moment “...no, continue what you were saying,”

“We can’t collect data to prevent any further harm if we don’t first put ourselves in danger, it’s sort of our jobs description,” Who knew science and journalism could have so many different crossovers? Not them, until they had somehow and at some point formed an unlikely problem-solving duo of science and radio. Like that hasn’t been done before.

“It really is in the job description,” And with that, Kai steps forward towards the door to the house that has appeared mysteriously overnight. Their hand clasps around the brass doorknob and then they turn it until it clicks open; it isn’t locked. They exchange a nervous grin with Michael and then they open the door.

It’s a little anti-climatic and overwhelming as they look inside and see the inside of a house; the floorboards creak and there’s a welcome mat on the floor as they step inside. The door falls shut behind them, Michael reaches out and as predicted the door is now locked and unable to be opened. Kai sighs a little “I hope this place has food,” they mutter “Or we’re done for really quickly,” They lead the way in journeying through the house, walking towards a door that opens up into a kitchen.

On the table, there is an assortment of different foods, all laid out with napkins and knives and forks “Hello?” Kai calls “Is anyone home?” They wait for at least ten seconds with no response before shrugging “Well whoever made this dinner must have left in a hurry,” That thought alone is a little unnerving but the food on the table does look delicious. There’s a very specific smell and feeling Michael gets as he stares at cooked chicken and vegetables on a plate and realises they remind him of his mother’s home-cooked Sunday roasts. What an oddly specific thing to remember.

“I don’t think we should eat that,” Michael informs Kai “It seems like a trick if you ask me,” He feels uncomfortably watched, even with just him and Kai there…where are the other people who had wandered in? “Scientifically speaking the probability of there not being something wrong with that food is far less than there being something definitely wrong with that food, there is no one else here but a fully cooked meal of both chicken and…are those cakes? I’ve never seen those cakes before in my life,”

“Oh they’re almond cakes,” Kai nods “Yeah my dad used to make those all the time when I was a child, with the pink icing on top, they’re the nicest things I’ve ever eaten in my life and…ah, I see,” They take a deep breath “Yeah we should definitely not eat that food.” There is an uncomfortable silence that follows, side-stepping around the table as if it is filled with something toxic and poisonous “That looks like a trap to me,” They pull out their phone, fully prepared to tune into the radio signal but…there is no signal. It’s as though they were no longer in Night Vale at all but somewhere different, somewhere far away. “Shit, that’s not good,” They pocket their phone again.

“Okay so, a creepy house that almost definitely can hear us, but not only hear us but know us,” Their blue and grey eyes glaze over for a moment as they think as hard as they possibly can. “Or maybe not the house that hears us but whoever built it, find out what the house or whoever built it wants then we found out how to get out of here, but first…let's explore some more,” They push open the kitchen door and walk back out onto the hallway “Don’t take anything that doesn’t belong to you, not even as scientific evidence, until necessary I’d say don’t eat or drink anything it may offer you either,” There’s something not right about this house. It’s intimidating and it’s walls look imposing like they could move at any moment.

The two head up the stairs, Michael falling unusually quiet like he’s trying to concentrate on something or nothing at all, as he walks slightly behind his…friend? Acquaintance? Companion? He isn’t sure, he’s also not sure he wants to ask, so he keeps his mouth shut and follows, taking in his surroundings with scientific interest. “I don’t suppose telling it I’d like to go home would work?” he asks with a quiet chuckle, the floor chooses that moment to creak under their weight but neither of them can avoid the feeling that it was also a response of some kind. Kai laughs anyway, because they’re nervous and a little scared and there’s nothing like laughter to escape emotions like that, at least for long enough that you can come back and categorically organise or deal with them.

There are four rooms at the top of the stairs, one is assumedly a bathroom, the others perhaps bedrooms? Kai pauses a moment to gain some idea of what they should investigate first, due to their new aversion to mirrors (Not fear, but a simple distrust in something created to mimic you and your world), they decide to start with the nearest bedroom. Opening the door, they find inside two sets of bunk beds, clearly intended to be a children’s room, but there are no children inside. At least not presently. The beds are made with green sheets and there is a box of toys at the far wall, the walls are painted a soothing blue but neither of them feels remotely soothed. In fact, this only agitates them a little more, because something understood human psychology enough to know that this colour is supposed to be soothing for them.

The two back out of this room and let the door fall shut; there is still no sign of the other people who entered the house and this is mildly troubling. Side-stepping a little, Kai opens the next bedroom door and wanders inside, taking in the walls that are now green and the single king-size bed, something about this room makes Kai feels like it was built for them; there are potted plants on the windowsill and a walk-in closet by the furthermost wall, the carpets are dark purple in their exact favourite shade. Once again, this does not fill them with ease as they’re sure it’s supposed too. Michael shifts uncomfortably; the walls are his favourite colour, the bedsheets exactly like his own at home.

“We should keep looking for the others,” Kai informs their companion with a tired expression of unease. “I don’t know where they are but they came through the same door, perhaps they’re asleep?” One could hope that’s for sure. The door closes as they walk back into the hallway. The final bedroom is on the other side of the stairs, the bathroom door is open at it’s the room facing them as they pass the stairway. Kai takes a deep breath and pushes open the final bedroom door to find…they breathe a slight sigh of relief because it is occupied by people.

“Are you real?” One asks, a middle-aged woman.

“I …uh…think so?” Kai starts

“Philosophically speaking that’s arguable, scientifically…yes, we’re real,” Michael says at the same time, earning at least three baffled looks. “Why wouldn’t we be real?” He asks, mostly out of curiosity.

“The house is alive,” A man with a scruffy beard and raggedy curls explains, he looks tired and very much like he’d like to go to sleep. “It plays tricks on you,” His eyes look a little wild as he glances at the walls as though expecting to find ears in them “It goes through your memories, hopes and dreams and feelings, it gets worse when the sun sets,” It is still broad daylight.

“When the sun sets? But it only appeared this morning?”

“For you, maybe,” He continues. “For us, it’s been three days, and for you now, I suppose,” It’s then that Kai realises it is not broad daylight at all, the sun is setting. Time might be weird in Night Vale, but it’s even weirder in this house.

“Why is it always the houses?” Michael sighs “House full of death, a house that doesn’t exist, and now a house that can read your mind,” He makes a loose gesture that people make when they’ve given up trying to comprehend things “This town is a living nightmare,” He isn’t wrong, Kai thinks, but also they’ve never really had a nightmare so maybe he is wrong and they just don’t know it. “Everything here is built to kill you and it’s becoming troublesome,” Michael does not know why it’s only just becoming troublesome to him; he’s never really cared about danger much until now.

“Isn’t that just what living is?” Speaks a quiet child, who is lying on the bed and staring blankly at the ceiling with pitch-black eyes that resemble no soul. “Dodging things that are trying to kill you? Isn’t that what everyone does really? What are we but pawns in a laughing god’s play?” Everyone in the room blinks a little, before collectively deciding to pointedly ignore the empty-eyed child’s words, resuming thinking about their current dilemma instead of the usual dilemma that they consider subconsciously most days of the week.

“I suppose we should find out what the house wants? It seems to respond to our desires so if we desire for answers then shouldn’t we get them?” Kai breaks the uncomfortable silence with a look up at the ceiling as though it has eyes and ears. The room creaks a little “Was that a yes?” They ask the house, it creaks again “It’d be a lot easier if you could speak,” Another noise except it sounds like a sigh of exasperation. The house is not happy with their lack of appreciation for having everything for them, it seems, or at least Kai assumes this is what it’s trying to say.

“Why here and now?” Michael asks, mostly to himself and predominantly in a rhetorical fashion because none of them could possibly have the answer to those questions. “Something isn’t quite making sense here,” He rubs a hand over his face because nothing in this entire town makes _sense_ why should this house be an exception? Yet it’s hard to apply science to a place that is constantly _defying_ science. “The house wants people and it’s trying to keep us here by offering us the things we want, but what does it gain, what can a house benefit from?” He looks around at the room, staring at the furniture and the ceiling and the walls. He runs over to one and presses his palms to the solid wall, it shivers like it is breathing and he pulls back fairly quickly. “This house is really, _truly_ alive,” He’s both fascinated and terrified by this notion as he looks down at the floorboards under his feet.

“What could a house want?” Kai asks.

“What does every house want?” Said the empty-eyed child on the bed “What do we all want really?” Everyone ignores the existential child in favour of, once again, not thinking about those awful questions. The child sighs a little exasperatedly. “Listen, it breathes, it has a heartbeat,” Kai stares at the child and then falls to their hands and knees on the floor, pressing their ear to the floorboard, eyes going wide as they do so. What they had thought was a clock is in fact not a clock.

“It does have a heartbeat, this house is not a house it’s…a creature, a living, breathing creature in the shape of a house,” The intern informs them all before springing back to their feet. “I wish I had reception to tell Cecil this,” They mutter with a resigned look “He would be able to stop other people coming in and becoming trapped here,”

They think for a moment, their eyes falling shut as they think and think and _think_, before a grin crosses their lips and their eyes widen. “This is a house,” Their hand flails out excitedly at the blatant statement “_This_, is a _house_,” They clap their hands together with a small laugh on their lips “What do houses exist to do? Why do they exist? What would a house want if it were not a house but a living and sentient creature?”

“Good home furnishings,” A middle-aged woman commentated.

“Nice wallpaper?” Offered an older man.

“Working plumbing,” A child around the age of seven informed them matter-of-factly.

“_No,”_ Kai sighs exasperatedly “Well _yes_, but who has to do all of those things?” There’s a quiet moment of realisation before Michael points at himself and then everyone else in the room excitedly “Yes! People, a house wants people, it wants to be loved, to know it has a purpose, assuming it is, in fact, a lonely house and not a piranha waiting to eat us whole, it won’t let us leave because it thinks it can provide,” The house makes a slightly happier noise. “But…that’s not how it works,” Kai’s voice goes soft with a look on their face that says they’re _truly _sorry. “Keeping us here won’t make us happy, no matter how many things you give us that we want, that’s not what love is,” There’s a sad creaking noise that sounds like a low wail. “We can still love you without being forced to be here,”

There’s nothing for a moment and Kai looks down at their feet, resigning to their life inside a house that isn’t a house but a living, rejected _upset_ creature. Then they take another deep breath “I know how you feel,” They walk over to the wall and rest a hand on the papered walls “I know how you feel, but you can’t trap people with you and hope eventually they will love you anyway, freedom is the best form of love there is, not dependence or restriction, but leaving and then coming back to someone and something you love because you chose to be there,” The house creaks but it sounds like a child’s whimper, it sounds scared and lonely and Kai pities the walls that hold together an empty carcass, that has nothing but ghosts left behind. And them, of course. “But if you let me out I can still come back, maybe I could even bring you gifts, you don’t have to keep me here for me to love you, but if you keep me here there will only be resentment for us all,”

There’s a slow noise like a door creaking open and everyone exchanges a look before they start racing downstairs. There’s the sound of cheering but Kai doesn’t move, and neither does Michael, instead, he watches them. “I know you’re scared of being alone,” Kai says softly “And you have wonderful gifts, but sometimes being alone is not the same as being lonely, and sometimes being lonely is not being alone, either way, you can be a home without being a prison, in fact, there are plenty of people who would willingly live here,”

Their hand leaves the wall “I’ll be back, but I need to check with my friend that everything is okay, or he’ll start worrying, not like in a panicky way he’ll act all nonchalant but looks like he’s about to have a mental breakdown if you look in his eyes for too long,” Michael should laugh, he should smile, but there’s nothing short of awe on his face as he looks at Kai, overrun with this feeling that screams to him but he doesn’t know it, cannot place it.

Instead, he takes a deep breath and follows them out of the house into the street outside. Nobody greets them, but they know there are people waiting to do so. Michael smiles at Kai and it’s a look that is more than a smile but not even he knows what it’s supposed to mean, only that when they smile back, Michael feels a warm pressure under his skin that reminds him of the soft warmth of a burning sun. He watches them go with a quick bid farewell, and then he thinks about them all the way home. If he had told anyone else about his dazed emotions, they would have offered him a knowing look and a low chuckle, but he doesn’t. So he will have to figure it out by himself.


End file.
